Writing a New Story

Each of us have familiar and automatic beliefs and reactions that have been with us before we had conscious memory. They tell us how to act and what to feel in response to certain situations. They inform us of who we are and direct our lives.

It never occurs to us to be curious or question these responses because they feel like “who we are.” The idea that these are something we learned in response to

neglect, trauma or less than good enough parenting never occurs to us. We never think that perhaps our ideas are not within the normal range.

I'm Just An Angry Person

Curtis works long hours and an evening at home is a treasured experience. He likes to spend the time with his family being quiet and talking. His teenage daughter invited friends to the house without checking if it fit into the evening plans. In his therapy session, he was talking about how angry he was and feeling guilty because he was irritable. He was giving himself a hard time for being angry because he believed that being angry is “just who I am.” As he told the story of how the evening unfolded, he realized that his anger was telling him that his boundaries had been violated. The visiting friends were being loud and disregarding the rest of the family. With this knowledge he created a plan to have a conversation with his wife and daughter about family planning