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Doubt, Restlessness and Boredom

Image of a guy resting on a concrete bench next to a lake with swans. Raleigh Psychotherapy, counseling, Katherine Broadway

Restless is that feeling of being on edge, something is not quite right. It is a vague feeling that something is wrong and you need to do something about it. It is a part of the flight or fight system.

You want to change your life, slow down and have a more meaningful existence. Maybe you made the decision to commit to one person and build an intimate relationship. You took action by starting therapy to create a more positive attitude. You have even bought into the idea of self-care and self-parenting.

You know these are smart, healthy choices; even so, you find yourself doubting the wisdom of this decision because you find yourself getting restless. You feel edgy, as though something is not quite right. Life seems a little boring and unexciting.

Is this discomfort worth the work and the changes you have made? You doubt yourself and the efficacy of your decisions. You may even be asking yourself why you started the process.

Healthy Skepticism

It is good to have healthy skepticism and it is good to ask questions. Before you trust someone or agree to any changes, there needs to be time to test the trustworthiness of the person and your decisions. However, if you spend an inordinate amount of time in doubt, you will get in the way of your own progress.

Life is usually long and slow burning. Sometimes life is deep, with moments and times of excitement. Daily life is usually a repetition of what is necessary to carry on the business of maintaining a life.

After the initial honeymoon phase of any change, life can become quite ordinary.

In the beginning, we are quick to observe and comment upon positive changes. That new relationship feels even more wonderful; a new job that is so fulfilling; the child that felt like a miracle - whatever you discovered that made life exciting, will lose its luster and become the new normal.

Yes, over the years we feel less anxiety and more joy. We are more content and have more energy than we used to have, but we doubt that it comes from the changes we made. You wonder if the changes came with time.


When life becomes comfortable, it can feel boring and bring on a feeling of restlessness. Excitement and struggle has been a way of life and without it, it feels like something is missing.

There is an internal conflict. The constant need for something new, different and exciting feels stressful. The excessive drive for success clouds our ability to take care of ourselves, yet without it we feel antsy and bored.

It May Be Anxiety

This may be an indication of anxiety. You may protest that you are not anxious and have nothing to be anxious about. Pause for a moment and think. In all the changes, have you found a new sense of self? Are you feeling not quite at home with yourself?

This may be the time to sit still and listen to what is living underneath the restlessness. Is there something that is asking for your attention? Even with all the self-knowledge and positive changes, there is much more to you that you can imagine.

In life, we need to bring a certain amount of trust to the process of growth. In the beginning, you will need the excitement to continue the hard work of change. As you grow, there will be less excitement and more contentment.

As you listen to the restlessness, you will find wonderful secrets inside.

Are you having trouble being still with your restlessness? I can help you slow down and listen to yourself. Call me at: (919)88-2001.

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