When Living “Right” Is Wrong: Subtle Ways We Engage In Acts of Self-Hate

Just as you can love and hate another person, you can also love and hate yourself. It can happen to any of us from time to time. Some of the ways to treat yourself with hate are obvious: feeling worthless or bad, calling yourself ugly or disgusting and or a failure, to name a few.

The type of self-hate I am referring to today is not so obvious. It happens occasionally and is difficult to recognize. It comes in subtle ways that are disguised as the “right” way to live, the way to be a “good person”, or the way you are “supposed” to act. These acts are formed by old, unconscious messages.

These subtle moments of self-hate can lead to self-sabotage. They are disguised as a helping hand, but actually undermine your confidence, make you anxious, cloud your thinking, impair your decision-making abilities, and color the way you see a situation.