Emotional Intelligence, the Key to Better Relationships

Being successful is not as simple as having a high IQ. You won't go very far without another component, known as “emotional intelligence”. Psychologist and science journalist Daniel Coleman summarized it by saying,

“If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.”

Emotional intelligence is the ability to manage your own emotions and the emotions of others. It affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions so that positive results are achieved.

In order to do this, you must be able to identify your emotions, understand what they are telling you and realize how they affect people around you.

Emotionally intelligent people are able control their feelings and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem-solving. People with high emotional intelligence are able to understand what others are feeling, and respond to them in a way that they feel heard, understood and cared about.

Professor John Mayer wrote a book on the subject in 1995. His studies indicated that emotional intelligence was the missing link in explaining why people with average IQ’s outperform those with the highest IQ’s 70 percent of the time.