What Destroys Relationships? Love, Hate or Indifference?

Being human means you can love and hate at the same time. Love and hate can make us behave in ways in which we are not fully in control.

Love and hate sound like opposites; however, the two emotions are quite closely connected in the brain. I would suggest that indifference is actually the opposite of love, and can kill any relationship faster than hatred. In order to explain, we need to look at how the brain functions.

Rage is linked to the centers in the brain that anticipate reward. Brain research has shown that stimulating reward circuits results in sensations of pleasure. When you withdraw the stimulation, the pleasurable sensations stop and there is an aggressive response. This response to unfulfilled expectations is known as the “frustration-aggression hypothesis.” This hypothesis was first proposed in 1939. Although there have been modifications over the years, the core theory is still accepted and believed to be true.