Doubt, Restlessness and Boredom

August 17, 2020

The Power of Shame

August 3, 2020

We Need All Our Feelings

July 28, 2020

8 Qualities Of Mindfulness

July 7, 2020

1/5
Please reload

7 Steps to Dealing With Perfectionism During the Holidays

 

Thanksgiving, the official beginning of the holiday season, will be here in three days. Do you feel like you are already overwhelmed by everything that HAS to be done? Are you feeling like you are behind before you’ve even begun? 

 

One reason could be that part of you is making demands that are unrealistic.

 

 HOW YOU VIEW YOURSELF: YOU AGAINST THEM

 

Everyone else sees you as organized and able to accomplish many things. They see you as successful and respect you. What you see, however, are all the ways you need to improve, what you messed up, and all that is left unfinished. 

 

 You cannot accept their compliments and high opinion of you because you know your secret failures. They will not agree with you when you point out what you see as shortcomings. All your accomplishments are negated in your own eyes because you know what a failure you are.

 

 With the holidays, these feelings of failure and stress are worse because the demands and expectations of the season are so high. You are already working more, compromising your standards, and still it is not enough.

 

 A POSSIBLE PROBLEM

 

Perhaps, you are working with expectations and standards which are too high. Maybe, you are a perfectionist and don’t even realize it. Before you quit reading because you think this can’t be you, hold on. You may be asking how you can be a perfectionist when you know all the things you’re doing wrong.  Actually, one of the characteristics of a perfectionist is seeing all your imperfections and focusing on them to the point that they overshadow your accomplishments.

 

CHARACTERISTICS OF A PERFECTIONIST

 

Being a perfectionist does not mean that you do everything right. It means  holding yourself to an impossible standard. Even when others consider your work excellent, you are dissatisfied and criticize yourself. You are brutal with yourself when you make a mistake, or simply think that you did.  The standard you live by is the “mythical perfect.”

 

 CHANGE IS POSSIBLE

 

There is value in not being perfect. In my blog article, The Value of Being Imperfect, I talk about the advantages of imperfection. With that in mind you can do something to change the impossible standards you believe are necessary. In the short term, it will feel frightening and be hard. In the long run, it will free you to be more of who you are and to enjoy life and the holidays more. 

 

 7 STEPS IN DEALING WITH PERFECTIONISM DURING THE HOLIDAYS

  1. Make a list of the traditions and activities that you believe must happen during the holidays

  2. For each, identify who started the tradition.

  3. Ask yourself if you like each tradition and activity.

  4. Rate each item according to how much you like them

  5. With the help of a friend, estimate how much time each one will take before they are “good enough” to satisfy you.

  6. If the list is long, pick your favorites.

  7. For everything else, delegate.  If there are things that must be done that are not on your list, ask someone to be responsible for them.

This exercise is not easy and will take some courage. Change takes time and support. Be patient, kind and tolerant with yourself. Even if you do not make any changes this year, simply going so far as to make the list will clarify what activities you like and which ones to continue next year. 

 

Do you need help making these changes? Call me at (919)881-2001, I can help.

 

 

 

Please reload

Raleigh Psychotherapy

409 Snelling Rd

Raleigh NC 27609

919-881-2001

© 2016 - 2019 Katherine Broadway

Design by De*WriteSites

Terms of Service | Privacy Policy

Accessibility Policy & Sitemap

  • LinkedIn - White Circle
  • Facebook - White Circle
  • Pinterest - White Circle

Doubt, Restlessness and Boredom

17 Aug 2020

1/22
Please reload