Raleigh Psychotherapy

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Raleigh NC 27609


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Take It Easy For The New Year

30 Dec 2019

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Raleigh Psychotherapy Blog

All blog posts and photography on this website are protected by copyright. Republishing without express permission is prohibted. Sharing a link to a post in your social media feeds is encouraged.

Timing is everything. After writing last week's article, several people recommended that I go see the movie Rocketman, the story of Elton John. In the movie, you can see how he developed different parts inside himself. I knew nothing about the movie when I wrote the previous week’s article. I was amazed at how timely and on point the movie was, illustrating exactly what we were discussing here. 

The movie begins with a dramatic scene where Elton John enters a group therapy session dressed in a devil’s costume. He tells the group that he is an alco...

Have you ever wondered why one criticism or piece of feedback will wipe out ten compliments? Are you confused about feeling down and depressed for no apparent reason? That happens because of the Harsh Inner Critic.

Children who grow up with adequate parents are able to develop into their individual selves; their true selves. They learn that they have positive qualities and not so good qualities. They learn that, in their core, they are valuable because they exist and their value and worth does not depend on being “good” all the time. Needs are a n...

Alex tells his story.  “As a teenager I was considered difficult. Anger was my constant companion. I would be angry when my parents told me to do something, I hated all the rules and regulations of school. I felt controlled and resentful, that I was not able to make my own decisions.”

“When I went to college it was better,” he says.  “I did not feel as angry because I was free to make my own decisions. In hindsight, I realize that I was irritable. Loud noises, loud talking, delays and waiting, to name a few things, would set off grumbling and impa...

  Roger is depressed because of the death of a close friend. He was told to go to a self help group.

  Stacy fought depression all her adult life. She was told to get on a disciplined program of exercise, diet and meditation.

  Allie was depressed after losing her job. She was told to contact a headhunter, join LinkedIn and to treat looking for a job as a job.

  William is depressed and has no idea why. He was told to be grateful for all he has and to snap out of it.

None of this “helpful” advice actually helped. Why? Because each of these peopl...

Do you ever ask yourself, “What do I want?” and you have no idea what the answer might be? When you meet a friend, are you afraid to say what it is you want and need? Are there times when you feel empty inside and nothing seems to satisfy your needs? Do you feel alone in a crowd, as though you don’t fit in? Does it feel like you are separate and distant even with your closest friends? Is there a low level of depression and dissatisfaction that you carry with you? 

Perhaps you had to give up what you wanted as a child. Pathological accommodation is...

In the previous post, we asked the question,"Do you know your true self?" Today, let's take a closer look at what the false self is, and how it develop s.

As human beings, we need a witness: a person to see what we do and feel, and to reflect back to us. That enables us to put words to our experiences, making it possible to give meaning to our lives. As we mature, the external witness is incorporated into the self, creating the ability to give meaning from the inside.

An Adequate Witness

When we live in a situation where we do not have an adequ...

When Albert Einstein met Charlie Chaplin, Einstein said,“What I most admire about your art, is your universality. You don’t say a word, yet the world understands you!”

Silent film star Charlie Chaplin epitomizes the power of nonverbal communication.  Think about it for a moment: he mastered the use of facial expressions and body language to convey messages in a medium where words were not an option.  He did so to such a degree that in 1998 – well into the age when words, music, and CGI could tell the story in the movies – film critic Andrew Sarris...

We have all heard the saying, “It hurt too much to cry.” What you don’t hear as often is the idea that there could exist a pain so great that to talk about it seems unbearable.  It is the feeling that the act of verbalizing an experience would cause such hopelessness and shame it would be impossible to endure it.

That begs the question: Isn’t therapy based on talking? If talking is too painful and therapy is about talking, what do you when you have this type of pain inside?

The answer starts with understanding the role a therapist can play in your...

It is by starting with the small things that we build a sense of self, self-esteem, and resiliency.  These are necessary ingredients for success.

We all have objects, beliefs, people and memories that live inside of us. They fall into in the same categories as those in the story: some help us survive, some harm us, and some help us grow and thrive.

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