Raleigh Psychotherapy Blog

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Ever have that feeling that something is a little bit off in the way you’re taking on life?

On the outside, you look like you have it all together and everything is going well in your life. Other people may even see you as successful, giving and caring, but inside you feel awful because you can’t get things “right”?

THE REASON MAY BE SHAME.

Underneath the image you project, you know that what the world sees is a false front crafted to hide the self-doubt, fear, anger and resentment you often feel. You work hard, yet never seem to live up to your own...

Sue had a bad day. She missed an important deadline at work on a project that was important to her job. This came at the same time as she was being considered for a promotion.  She had interviewed for a position that would push her to the next level of management. Sue had worked for two years to prepare herself for this promotion, and the time had finally come.

Because of the mistake she made, Sue was taken out of the running for the position.  She was so depressed and ashamed that she went home and had a drink. In the past, that had helped reliev...

Before you say, “No, not me!” let me offer you a number.  The National Institutes of Health estimates 17.3 million adults in this country experienced at least one major depressive episode in 2017; that's a little more than seven percent of the  US population.  It is not because 2017 was a particularly bad year for people; it is because depression is something that nearly every one of us will experience as we move through life. 

Depression is part of some important experiences we all have, such as illness, losing a pet, losing a job, a de...

“I’m going to be voted off the island,” she wailed. Most of us know she is referring to the TV show, “Survivor.” On the show, team members are made to leave when they do not live up to expectations, or are seen as a threat by the other contestants. No matter the reason, a line was crossed, intentionally or unintentionally, and the situation could not be fixed. The contestant had done something wrong, and the mistake was large enough that they would not get a second chance.

WRONG?

In this case, we need more details to determine what happened.  We kn...

We have all heard the saying, “It hurt too much to cry.” What you don’t hear as often is the idea that there could exist a pain so great that to talk about it seems unbearable.  It is the feeling that the act of verbalizing an experience would cause such hopelessness and shame it would be impossible to endure it.

That begs the question: Isn’t therapy based on talking? If talking is too painful and therapy is about talking, what do you when you have this type of pain inside?

The answer starts with understanding the role a therapist can play in your...

What Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr knew was that time alone changes nothing. It is only through hard work and the help of a community that life changes and you change.

I believe that almost everyone has had a “talk me off the cliff” moment in life. This moments can become an avenue for growth.

When his wife said, “I thought you liked kitties,” it broke the “spell” of fear. They were able to laugh together, transforming the moment to one of joy and togetherness.

Research shows that being a perfectionist has a negative effect on many areas in one’s life.  The pursuit of perfection can cause serious health problems, and contributes to depression, anxiety, eating disorders, fatigue and even early mortality.

The HIC came into being at a time in your life when you needed connection in order to develop a sense of self. It gives you that connection if you do not get it from your family.

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Raleigh Psychotherapy

409 Snelling Rd

Raleigh NC 27609

919-881-2001

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Doubt, Restlessness and Boredom

17 Aug 2020

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